Nat'l Camping Week: I'll TakeTwo HUNKS Along!

Two Camping HUNKS below!

My concept of camping is staying in a lodge with a bed, bathroom, TV, phone, food...you get the idea. I don't DO camping. I don't sleep in tents in the "great outdoors", nor "go off in the woods" for bathroom forays.

About the closest thing I've done to actual camping is when my husband, two of our kids, and I, used my in-laws camper and drove up to Niagara Falls, crossed into Canada, and then drove through some New England states. The camper had a kitchen, beds, bathroom/shower, and electrical power when we "plugged in" at campgrounds.

This wasn't really too bad, as we were a self-contained unit and had our privacy...without bugs. We barbecued on a grill, not over a campfire. Hell. I never even did that in Girl Scouts. Just not my "thing" to enjoy the "great outdoors" of nature.

Now, hiking and camping are hobbies tons of people enjoy...and I say have at it..just please, don't take me with you! I'll do my hiking in malls, thank you. Walking around the neighborhood or at malls is fine...I don't need to see every flower/shrug/insect nature has to offer.

Heck...I don't even like picnics...never did...because I don't DO bugs. Yeah, I was a moper at family outings as a child and avoided going if I could.

I tried one outdoor sport...golf. Hated every minute. I REALLY tried to like it, but the thought of spending hours chasing a tiny ball I usually either missed hitting or hit by trees in warm temperatures just never appealed to me. Anyone interested in buying used women's left-handed golf clubs?

I go to baseball/football games...as long as it's not too hot or too cold. I want my comfort. And my hot dogs.

Now, if these HUNKS were to invite me to share a tent and go camping, I'd have to rethink my whole "I don't like the outdoors" attitude...wouldn't you do the same thing? They could set up camping equipment, build campfires, make dinner. Hell...the one on the right already has a tent and jacket and likes to camp during the holidays. I could fit easily between the two of them in one giant sleeping bag...sharing's a good thing! So's body warmth, heat, snuggling, touching...etc.

Hmm. Maybe then I'd enjoy the wonders of nature...and the men who share that interest!

I'm actually writing/editing a book about a woman who knows zilch about camping but goes with the hero to try and pass herself off as a seasoned camper...sounds like something I definitely can relate to...not knowing a damn thing!

Photos: Flickr: wine me up, adam79, and Here in Van Nuy's photostreams, and Rockshots.com

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The Biker and the Chick

Why we love biker dudes

When I was a teenager, I sneaked out of the house all the time to ride with my biker boyfriends. You see...my parents didn't allow me on a motorcycle. But my grandmother was a different story. I'd spend the night at her house and meet my boyfriends there - one at a time - I mean. I had a series of biker boyfriends. There is just something about a guy on a Harley that is sexy as hell.

Rick, of course, was the sexiest with his really big Harley, and we dated for a year. Then there was Cal, the older biker dude who belonged to a motorcycle club in the nearby big city. We spent a lot of time cruising the countryside. The last of my teen crushes was Happy who nearly got me killed when we wiped out on a steep, wet, winding brick street. We were young and still immortal and we'd been making out at the Black Angel (look it up) in the middle of a thunderstorm. Just going too fast, I guess. When I was in college, a biker boyfriend bought me my own Honda 250 to ride to my university classes. I loved that little bike. Riding with nothing between myself and the wind, aside from the helmet he insisted I wear, made me feel free as a bird. Our breakup was friendly and I gave him back the bike.

I watched Sons of Anarchy last night for the first time and all those fine memories came rushing back. Even after I got married and had kids, I still had this thing for bikers - not a crush - but a trust. Once my husband, our three little kids and I were camping through Wyoming, Montana and the Dakotas and found ourselves in the middle of the Sturgis crowd. Every campground was packed, but the bikers made room for the family of five in the mini-van towing the pop-up tent trailer. Every morning it was - "Mornin' ma'am." and "Can I help you carry that load of firewood, ma'am?" and "Night, ma'am." I don't normally sleep well on a camping trip because I worry about grizzlies and crazy mountain men. I slept soundly on that trip because I had every confidence that those bikers would watch out for us like they watched out for their own. They did. They rode my kids around the campground. They helped my husband chop wood and ate s'mores with us. They pushed our van down the road to get her started when the alternator went and then they replaced it for us for the price of a steak dinner.

So...coming soon...The Biker and the Chick, by Julia Barrett.