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Monday, February 20, 2012

procrastination as fear

Another procrastination job: do new promo!
Yep. As a died in the wool Obsessive Worker, I hardly ever suffer Procrastination Blues.
Not my style. Learned long ago to just put my a$$ in the chair and work it, baby!
BUT lately I have a tough time. I am doing that nut ball thing, questioning myself.
I would rather:

  • go the gym (now you KNOW this is a bad case of put-it-off!)
  • wash dishes (huh?)
  • finish the novel I am currently reading which would make that a reward for playing hooky—and how could I possibly reward myself for not working? *headtodesk*
  • think up a new series which, I must add, I have NO clue when I can write it given that I am up to that same a$$ in other stuff. (YES, you can see how I am constantly doing more than my 24 hours worth.)

IN fact, years ago, make that over 15 years ago, I had to promise hubby and the family that I would stop work at 5 or...at the latest 6 and not go back. Not Go Back.
I have kept to that.
But you know at night, I usually feel my fingertips itching for the keyboard.
So, is my procrastination really fear? Fear of Failure? Yes, might be.  BUT see me, hear me do this mantra now, I know that this too shall pass.
I have been here before.
Worked myself out of it.
Worked the work until it was great. (or in my estimation so it was. I have put 2 kids through college with my earnings so it does get me enough $$$ to verify me.)
So I guess this means that now that I have dumped my bucket on you, I will crack my knuckles and, for godsakes, Cerise, stop bellyaching and get back to work!
Thank you for listening. That was...um...cathartic.

7 comments:

  1. Good morning, Cerise~
    You'll be back in the zone soon, I'm sure!

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    Replies
    1. TESSIE, thanks sweetie. I am HERE drilling my fingers into this keyboard this morning. Feeling better just by bi$@ing about this!

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  2. Oops, I hit 'publish' too , soon- I love your new banner!

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  3. I came to the conclusion recently that I must honor my new realty, which is I have limitations of time, attention and creative energy. I have inescapable obligations to loved ones and practical matters. I am not a machine that makes more money by remaining planted in a chair. I benefit from playing hooky and living my life. On my death bed I'm never going to regret giving up some computer time for a sweaty yoga class or taking my son to the movies, and laughing a lot.
    Cerise, you're a Renaissance woman and isn't this the new Global Renaissance? The Renaissance model demands a well rounded personality, interested in the world, culture and taking part in a little bit of everything. Be grateful you're a bit distracted, it's a sign of intelligence. Get away from work and feed your soul. I'm certain it feeds the work...
    XXOO Kat

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    Replies
    1. Kat, oh, such wise words.
      Yes, I do agree with you.
      When I do other things besides WORK, I feel enlivened and have more energy to return to work!
      A Renaissance Woman.
      This I must remember.
      xxooo

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  4. Yes, on top of everything else we have to be Renaissance women too! No pressure there... lol
    XXOO Kat

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