Okay, I admit I have nothing important to blog about today. I’m bogged down with work, have a class, and it’s back to school night… So I stole this blog from the wonderful Julia Barrett who runs her blog like a professional.
I love Julia’s blog and visit it almost everyday. I never know what I’ll find there. Yesterday she had a terrific post featuring the more extreme version of the Maybelline “Falsies” mascara commercial posted above. You’ve got to pop over there and see with your own eyes the excess Maybelline is trying to foist on us.
(Please visit Julia Barrett’s World blog and check out the other version of the Maybelline Falsies ad and the comments visitors’ left! lol)
Anyway, these were my thoughts about Maybelline Falsies Mascara:
Maybe she’s born with it? I think the word “Falsies” says it all. I’ve already publicly admitted I’m a mascara addict, willing to believe any crap Maybelline, Cover Girl or L’Oreal heaves on me. The make-up section of Target weakens my willpower and my lashes are skimpy. I hate leaving the store empty handed with so many beauty miracles hanging from the shelf within easy reach. I get pulled in and splurge on any new $6 mascara whenever one is offered—which is often.
As the Latisse ad featuring Brook Shields says, I “suffer from inadequate lash syndrome” and I’m always on the lookout for those eyelashes I lost in the past. At this very moment I’m holding a partially used tube of “Falsies” mascara in “Blackest-black” (that means it’s so black it’s beyond the blackest black of any known black realm, it’s goes to the 11 of black, and its even blacker than “carbon” black, which is supposedly a lighter more tasteful shade of black mascara…)
Honestly, “Falsies” mascara does crap! It does not build lashes remotely close to any of their claims. Those models in the ads are wearing double or even triple pairs of false eyelashes and leading us to believe it’s the mascara. Shame on them. I don’t even want to look like the ad, I just want my mascara to build quickly… Am I asking too much?
Last week, I foolishly wore Falsies mascara to the gym and walked out with one eye (not both) looking like a raccoon. Why just one eye? It almost looked rakish, like an eye patch, but its still not a flattering look for a gal. The Falsies special “spoon” brush did not give me “wings”.
My experiment in Falsies glamour is over. The tube is going into the trash right now… I fully admit I wasted another $6 dollars on nonsense. I’m just scared that if I leave it lying around I might forget about it’s weird one-eyed cyclopic tendencies and use it again by mistake.
So, to review, if Falsies mascara worked the wearer would look like a vampire child of the night Rupaul drag queen, when it doesn’t work the wearer risks looking like a one-eye raccoon. Learn from my mistakes and spare yourselves the embarrassment and save $6, don’t bother with Falsies mascara it won’t make your flirty vampire dreams come true.