The first thing that caught my eye and my mind was this phrase, "Blah Blah Blah," she said feelingly.
Later on, Our Heroine does things HOPEFULLY.
She wrings her hands. A LOT.
She likes Our Hero, yearns for him, finds him dangerous, always has, but feels attached to her dead fiance. Say What?
Where was this editor? Are all this author's books like this? Gad. She said. Hopefully. Feelingly. I hope not.
Too bad. I buy A Lot of books. Hundreds of dollars each year. I even spring for hardcovers. But write poorly and I am gone. Never to return.
The sub-plot of a ghost in the house (which did not serve the purpose of challenging the character of the heroine or hero) only added to my feeling that the author was adrift for how to make her 80,000 words and the use of adverbs made me feel as though I was reading a first draft.
I will never go back to her works.
Do you have pet peeves about how authors write?