Thursday, March 10, 2011

He Did What????

The other day I was enjoying a quiet afternoon reading a book by a ‘new-to-me’ author. The hero was beyond yummy, the heroine a woman I know I would be friends with if she were real. The chemistry between them sizzled, and the story was exciting.

I was more than three quarters of the way through, excited that the h/h had found their way back to each other and that they were expressing their joy in a steamy, naked fashion! Up to this point, the love scenes had been extremely well-written, a great blend of emotion and inventiveness.

For purposes of this discussion, let’s name the heroine Bitsy, and the hero Stryker – why? Because I want to!

Now close your eyes and picture this. Bitsy is lying on her back. Stryker is surging into her with powerful thrusts and plundering her mouth with fiery kisses. While “still buried deep in her welcoming pussy”, he leans down to kiss around the jeweled ring in her belly button.

What??????????????? Does this man have no spinal cord? Is his penis three feet long? Is he a performer with Cirque Du Soleil??

I figured I must have missed something, skipped a sentence, so I re-read the preceding paragraphs, but nope, there was great detail about how tightly they were connected, etc. And this contortionist move was not simply one sentence. The scene was in Bitsy’s POV, and the entire paragraph was devoted to all of the stimulation she was receiving from Stryker’s talented tongue and plundering manhood at the same time!!!

I’m not sure I’m going to be able to finish this book.
Have a great weekend~


  1. Perhaps Stryker has a small mutant embedded in his chest? Or perhaps he has three heads? (one ramming into her pussy, one kissing her neck, and the one that is licking her navel ring?)

  2. Hahahahahaha! I like Fran's explanation.
    Yeah, that would turn me off from finishing the book.

  3. Very early in the morning for this convo. LOL But now my brain is scrambling around trying to fit the pieces together.

    What position were they in? It might be possible if she were laying flat on her back on a raised surface or high bed and he were standing. Then he would just have to bend over. Maybe he's really tall - or has a tongue like Gene Simmons.


  4. Great post Tessie! I think "Stryker" was striking with some supernatural detachable love-parts, how exciting! Please continue reading and report back to us about this shocking new phenomenon! I just wish I had thought of it first. lol
    XXOO Kat

  5. YOGA is a wonderful practice.
    Jelly Spine could be a new condition, author created.
    Other than that, you got GAME, babe.

  6. LOL! That would ruin the book for me also!

  7. Dont ya just hate that? Maybe he's very very short. Is he? It's so jarring when an author does that - we all have to be careful! A good lesson!

  8. Fran - I love the mutant/three head explanation!

    Michelle - your staging of the scene would have actually made it possible! As would him having a Gene Simmons tongue!!

    Amber, Kat, Julia, Marie - I did go on and finish the book, and am sorry (or happy, I'm not sure) to say there were no more bedroom contortionist acts!

    Cerise - Maybe I could write a whole new race of Jelly Spined shifters??!


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