Thursday, September 30, 2010

Welcome To My World

Welcome To My World
Dinner time; a joint effort between hubby and I on most nights. He grills, I spice or marinate meat, prepare side dishes. 
This particular evening, I’ve worked way too long, have no motivation and decide to embrace ‘tater tots’ as my only contribution to the meal. Hubs comes inside as I’m spreading oil on a sheet pan with my fingers. He leans in close and presses himself seductively against me.

Hubs: “This gives me all kinds of ideas.”

Me: “Huh? What are you talking about?” I pour the tots on the tray and move around a bit due to him invading my personal space by pressing his person against mine.

H: “Oil, on our fingers, rubbing, massaging…”

M: “Vegetable oil? Eewww! That’d be a freakin’ mess.”

H: “I wasn’t talking about pouring it.”

M: “Any amount would soak through the sheets and into the mattress.”

H: “We could get a rubber sheet.”

M: “You want to buy a set of special sheets so we can use cooking oil in the bedroom? Where would we go to get those? And wouldn’t it get so slippery that we’d slide off?”

H: “But how much fun would we have slipping and sliding around?”

M: “Do you realize what a cleaning nightmare that would be?” I shudder at the thought of filling a bucket with Pine Sol, finding the mop…

H: “Never mind."

Damn, I need a vacation!! 


  1. LOL. My DH wants to try slipping and sliding around with some kind of lube too. But yeah, what a cleaning nightmare. I'd rather just write about it!!! OMG, I think I have a new name for my blog. Cool, thanks.

  2. Tessie, there's a Quickie in there..."Tatter Tot Temptations" or "Spuds for Studs" ? I say potato and you say get naked..."
    I have a helpful household hint for fulfilling the oil fantasy because it's a good one... Use old sheets and towels and lots & lots of waterbased lube. It feels like oil, it's fun like oil and it easily washes off in the shower and laundry. Also keep a damp washcloth handy to wipe your slippery hands or else you won't be able to turn the bedroom door knob... lol
    XXOO Kat

  3. Vacation? Girl, you need a roll in oily sheets!

  4. Miranda- writing about it seems a lot less messy!!

    Kat- thanks for the pointers!

    Julia- absolutely!!

  5. Ladies! Ladies! Think of the alternative. The hubster enjoying his imaginative liaison with the Avon lady...or the milk woman. I say GO FOR your nearest motel, where the poor cleaning lady will have the cleanup job, and you will have enjoyed one hell of a hot night.


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