Monday, August 16, 2010

Hero & Heroine: "Let's Just Be Friends"?

 "Let's just be friends."

Good Lord. Those four words can send you into a tailspin, crushing your world and causing you to crash land while your heart breaks. It signifies the other person doesn't feel the same "need, want, desire" for you as you do for him or her.

Relationships are so stressing, especially if one person is more committed to it than the other. If one seeks "more" than the other is willing to give, the "just friends" words will end whatever hope for a future the dreamer has.

Sometimes romance books have the hero and heroine begin as friends...and sometimes they're not exactly enemies but end up on opposite sides of arguments. The ones that are friends, seem to fight the attraction pulling them closer together, as if they need to avoid that giant step to a more committed relationship.

When I met my then 24-year-old husband-to-be, he had a 6-year plan of what he would do, where he would be, and told me he wouldn't get married until he was 30. I said, "Fine." I figured we'd date...but I'd already made up my mind he was "the one" for me.

Being "just friends" didn't work out as he'd planned. Five months later, we got married and will celebrate our 40th anniversary this year.

In 4 of my books ("Second Sight Dating" and "Anything You Can Do" by Marianne Stephens, and "Sexy Games" and "Strip Poker for Two" by April Ash) the hero and heroine start out as friends/business associates. Both agree to keep it that way, although neither can resist the other's charm and allure. Passion takes over, lust enters their worlds, and love makes them more than "just friends".

When it's meant to happen, the hero and heroine are fated to fall in love. They can still "be friends", but on a much more interesting and sexy level!

Photos: Flickr: Tiago Riberio, Juliana Continho, and bobafred's photostreams.


  1. Definitely! Being close, intimate friends is the best way to maintain a relationship. If you can't be friends, how on earth can you be lovers?

  2. I was friends with my husband for three years before we finally dated!!! We've been married 15 years. Maybe its good to be friends first. You know all the bad parts of a person then lol

  3. Liking your sig other is just as important as loving them!

  4. Great post Marianne. I laughed while reading about your 'friendship' with your husband. It's so similar to mine. I was supposed to wait five years, but didn't wait for one even. I know so many people whose frienship ended up at the altar. I heard that being friends makes for the best marriage.

  5. My future husband told me he wanted to be just friends...and that lasted for approx. 2 months. One month after that, he asked me to marry him and 4 months later, we were married. Like you that was 40 yrs ago!!!! And here we both are. Still friends, more than.

  6. Great story, Marianne.

    Hubby and I were friends, and I had no intention of getting married. I was happy to be single and not having someone telling me what to do. lol I just didn't count on his focus and determination to wear me down. lol

    We've been married 34 years now. I was 33 years-old when we got married, so I had been very determined to stay single. Grin.

  7. I love your story! Love trumps a "plan" any day. lol
    XXOO Kat

  8. Lots of similar stories out there...friendship turns to love! Cerise...sounds like we both were married soon after meeting!
    Thanks, all, for commenting!

  9. It is great to be friends first.


  10. What's that saying? You wanna make God laugh . . . tell him your plans!
    Plans are good but most of the time hearts don't follow an agenda ;-)

  11. Sometimes I think it is good for them to start as just friends but at times I like it when you rush into it...



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