Tuesday, June 8, 2010

The Universe - Non Writing Topic

So today I’m talking off topic of writing. I might be getting too personal, but after this weekend I have to take this chance and put myself out there to the universe. Before you read any further I want to apologize to anyone I might offend with this personal blog.

I went to my last writer’s meeting of this season on Saturday and a friend of mine who I hadn’t seen in months made a huge non-writing announcement.

She adopted a baby. I cried tears of joy for her. She is my age and has never had children of her own. She has two lovely stepchildren but for any mother – raising a baby from birth is precious. My friend just couldn’t seem to get pregnant and fertility wasn’t an option. She felt it opens too many cans of worms.

In some ways I have to agree. Though the hubby and did go that route sometimes I wonder if it’s right. Anyway, during a break I talked to her and she said when her husband and her decided to adopt they hadn’t realized how hard it would be. They had a certain criteria and they weren’t coming close to finding it.

So they sat down again and decided kids weren’t in the cards for them. Now, most days the DH and I feel this way too. We struggle with our loss and still question whether or not we’ll be parents together. DH has no children of his own. L

Once my friend and her husband gave up a baby fell into their laps – literally. No joking. A friend of a friend of a friends kid found out she was pregnant (and very far along) and decided they weren’t ready to be parents. They asked my friend to adopt. They joyfully said yes.

There’s always the possibility that the kids could change their minds between now and November when the adoption becomes final, but that’s the risk every adoptive parent takes. Either way this child lived in a healthy home for six months. That’s not to say the parents aren’t healthy.

Why am I telling you all this? Because I’m putting myself out there. I’m opening myself to this universe like my friend told me to do. I’m telling everyone who will listen just in case they know a friend of a friend who has a baby they can’t care for and need to put up for adoption.

With two embryos left we thought about going the surrogate route. The people in our lives who want to help are either too young or too old! LOL

So here I am universe!


  1. This was an incredibly brave and beautiful post! I know the universe is listening because so many children need loving parents and you're such a welcoming soul. Someone will be attracted. I'm not sure how or when it will happen but I'll just picture you and DH holding a baby in your arms.
    XXOO Kat

  2. Dear Amber, How heart-rending to read your post. Children are a blessing that most of us enjoy bearing and raising and for those who cannot kepp them for whatever reason, adoption is the right thing to do. Wonderful your friend will do this.
    Having lost a child--an adult child--recently, I can say that losing one is truly horrible. But I always did believe--and told my 3 children when they were teenagers--that a child deserves two parents. For me, that was quite true. I felt that I was strong, healthy, capable and with my strong, healthy and capable husband, we were a team to bring up children.
    When they were babies, I never "did" baths or washed hair or cut fingernails. OUUUIE. Too afraid. Honestly. But Steve did those things. I did the rest. Including breast fed and made my own baby food!!! ALWAYS.
    Today, our remaining two are very healthy--and they do their own shampoos and nails!!!!!
    Ciao, Amber. Happy days to your friend.

  3. What a wonderful team you and your husband are Cerise. Truly amazing.

  4. Amber, your post really touched me tonight. I have two dear friends who, when they least expected it, and when they had all but givien up hope, had beautiful children come into their lives! Opening yourself up to the universe and its infinite possibilities is such a powerful thing for you to do!!

  5. Thanks Tessie. I was having writer's remorse this morning until I saw your post and it reminded me of my thank you. :)

  6. Wonderful post. As the mother of 4 adopted children, I know what it's like to go through decisions as to having/wanting/finding/adopting kids. Our first daughter "fell into our laps" similar to the "friend of a friend of a friend" thing.
    Never regret telling others you're interested in adopting. You never know what will happen.


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