Ah hell, the raunchy post!
I hooked up with a friend of mine who was in town for two days. She is all about sex. I do mean, all about sex. She talks about her relationships, in great detail, and she wants to know about my sex life. Because, as she says, "You're married to a stud muffin!"
Well, my stud muffin and I don't talk about our sex life, at least not to anyone who can put a name to a face. Thank God for internet anonymity!
Does she want me to share my muffin? Ya think? Uh...no...I do not share.
So why are we friends? Because beneath her oversexed and very beautiful exterior, is buried an insecure little girl who has problems with intimacy. Sex, no. Intimacy, yes. But I will tell you, boy oh boy, does she give me material to work with.
*Fran Lee, focus your dirty mind, here!*
So here's what I heard - She's dumped the boy toy, her 21 year old pool boy, and she's currently juggling two forty-something men at one time, neither knows about the other. Man-toy number one spends half the year in Europe and half the year in South America. His naughty bits are of adequate size, not huge, but he knows how to use them and he likes to use them often. And he has a mole on his...and he does this with his tongue and - Oh Gawd...don't tell me any more!!!
Man-toy number two has a bit of a pot belly, not her usual type, but he's domestic, loves wine, cooking, city life and, most important, she says he's huge, the biggest she's ever had, and her orgasms are to die for and he can go for hours and hours and hours and I'm getting tired just hearing it.
Of course, sitting in a public coffee shop, trying hard to keep from sticking my fingers in my ears, while saying, "Ew! Ew! Ew!", because I kinda sorta don't want to know all the positions she's tried...thanks to yoga and all that...I'm thinking stupid things, like, how's their hygiene? Are they circumcized? Do their balls hang low...do they wobble to and fro - these are the things I'm thinking while trying not to laugh and avoid answering her questions about my own sex life.
A lady never tells. A smile, a nod, a slight wince in the nether regions...
It's funny how I can write a very descriptive sex scene in a book, but try to talk to me about it IRL - unless you are my stud muffin - and my face turns red, I totally clam up, cover my ears and sing - lalalalalala.
Oh yeah, almost forgot - join me over at Erotic Romantic Crush Junkies and maybe win a copy of one of my romance/suspense books! http://erjunkiesreviewsblogspot.com/
See ya!
Well, my stud muffin and I don't talk about our sex life, at least not to anyone who can put a name to a face. Thank God for internet anonymity!
Does she want me to share my muffin? Ya think? Uh...no...I do not share.
So why are we friends? Because beneath her oversexed and very beautiful exterior, is buried an insecure little girl who has problems with intimacy. Sex, no. Intimacy, yes. But I will tell you, boy oh boy, does she give me material to work with.
*Fran Lee, focus your dirty mind, here!*
So here's what I heard - She's dumped the boy toy, her 21 year old pool boy, and she's currently juggling two forty-something men at one time, neither knows about the other. Man-toy number one spends half the year in Europe and half the year in South America. His naughty bits are of adequate size, not huge, but he knows how to use them and he likes to use them often. And he has a mole on his...and he does this with his tongue and - Oh Gawd...don't tell me any more!!!
Man-toy number two has a bit of a pot belly, not her usual type, but he's domestic, loves wine, cooking, city life and, most important, she says he's huge, the biggest she's ever had, and her orgasms are to die for and he can go for hours and hours and hours and I'm getting tired just hearing it.
Of course, sitting in a public coffee shop, trying hard to keep from sticking my fingers in my ears, while saying, "Ew! Ew! Ew!", because I kinda sorta don't want to know all the positions she's tried...thanks to yoga and all that...I'm thinking stupid things, like, how's their hygiene? Are they circumcized? Do their balls hang low...do they wobble to and fro - these are the things I'm thinking while trying not to laugh and avoid answering her questions about my own sex life.
A lady never tells. A smile, a nod, a slight wince in the nether regions...
It's funny how I can write a very descriptive sex scene in a book, but try to talk to me about it IRL - unless you are my stud muffin - and my face turns red, I totally clam up, cover my ears and sing - lalalalalala.
Oh yeah, almost forgot - join me over at Erotic Romantic Crush Junkies and maybe win a copy of one of my romance/suspense books! http://erjunkiesreviewsblogspot.com/
See ya!
.jpg)
A little mystery and a personal boundary between friends is a lovely thing. I feel badly for the men she has betrayed by exposing them so intimately. She obviously has no respect for them as individuals. Those relationships will never be more than sexual You said it at the beginning "Insecure little girl"
ReplyDeleteLOL I think you're best friends with my best friend. The details are way too much for me too. And yes, she's insecure too.
ReplyDeleteI too blush when someone offers TMI. There can be fun girl talk without crossing a line. Specific details of a real, loving, relationship should be kept between those involved. I have found that some people think sex is all I want to talk about because of the books I write - so not true!!
ReplyDeleteYes, Tessie, I think so too! I may write it, but I don't need the nitty gritty in a coffee shop! Yeah, Amber, TMI for sure! She really is sweet, but so insecure.
ReplyDeleteSome women like to tell all...I won't share my personal sex life, and always laugh when someone asks if I write my erotic books "from experience". I answer, "Some is from experience but I'm also very creative."
ReplyDeleteListening to a friend spill every detail might be amusing, but I'd never tell!
Hey, girl...I paid close attention! Nope...not fodder for my next menage. But funny as hell!
ReplyDelete