Monday, October 12, 2009


My passion is writing romance books, stories of love and happily-ever-afters. A writer needs to know herself/himself and understand or have experience with all the feelings that complicate love and romance before penning that next book.

Have you experienced envy? Jealousy? Hurt? Forgiveness? These are just some of those feelings along the rocky road to love. The following is an edited, whimsical rendition of Installing Love in yourself before a writer can successfully portray romantic heroes and heroines in novels.

(NOTE: There are various versions of this on the Internet and I can’t locate the original author. I did find a version in the Winter 1999 issue of Hopes & Dreams newsletter of the Illinois Chapter, Huntington's Disease Society of America.)

Tech: How can I help you?
Writer: I've decided to write a romance book and figure I need to install Love in myself first. Can you help me?

Tech: Certainly. Are you ready?
Writer: Well, I'm not very technical but I think I am. What do I do first?

Tech: The first step is to open your heart. (Pause) Have you located your Heart?
Writer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Can I still install Love while the others are running?

Tech: What programs are running?
Writer: Let's see. I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech: No problem. Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs.
Writer: Okay, that sounds great. What about Low Self-Esteem?

Tech: Love will also eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem.
Writer: And the other programs?

Tech: You'll have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?
Writer: I don't know how. Can you tell me?

Tech: Sure. It's really easy. Go to the start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.
Writer: Hey! I did it and Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program right now. You'll need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.
Writer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error-Program not run on external components." What should I do?

Tech: Stay calm. Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.
Writer: So then...what do I do?

Tech: Pull down Self-Acceptance and click on the following files: Forgive Self, Realize Your Worth, and Acknowledge Your Limitations.
Writer: Okay. Done.

Tech: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it's completely gone and never comes back.
Writer: Got it. Hey! My Heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is that okay?

Tech: For some it works that way. For others, it takes awhile but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.
Writer: Great! What about the other things that crowd my Heart program like Responsibility, Obligations, Distractions, Jealousy, and Envy?

Tech: Sorry but there's no way to delete these from your permanent memory and operating programs. Those will pop up at any time and you'll have to just deal with them when they do.
Writer: I guess now that Love is installed in My Heart, I'll handle those as they surface. You've been so helpful. Thanks so much!

Writers need to have their characters go through much the same process. Love isn't automatically installed. Obstacles have to be overcome, hearts have to open, so many complications must be addressed and conquered. Then, happily-ever-after will happen!

The heroine, Katie, of "Gone to the Dogs", by Marianne Stephens, has lots to go through before Love installs in her Heart program. Read an excerpt and reviews of "Gone to the Dogs", published by Cerridwen Press, at my web site:

Marianne Stephens has three ebooks published by Cerridwen Press, and one of those is also available as a paperback.
April Ash has two erotic romance books available:
and one is also available in print.


Thanks for leaving a comment.